Sunday, October 01, 2006

Jakob's Journal

I did it. And it hurt. A lot. But it was all worth it. I now have the coolest tattoo ever. There are 8 puzzle pieces around my ankle...5 with the letters of Jakob's name, a sun, a star and 2 hearts. I totally dig it and I'm glad I did it. It took and hour and a half. And it wasn't pleasant. As soon as it heals, I'll put some pictures up. It'll probably take a couple of weeks before it looks normal. Right now, it's scabbing over...not too pretty.

The Autism Expo was pretty amazing. A great turn-out and lots of great information. Jakob went with me and he was so good. We were there for 4 hours and he didn't let out one squeal. He was perfect. We set up a few sensory tables and we made quite a mess. There were beans and birdseed everywhere but I think the kids enjoyed it. And that's what it's all about, isn't it?? Having fun. A happy childhood lasts forever (I have that sign over the doorway into Jakob's room...it's one of my favorites).

I just have the hardest time believing that Jakob is 5 years old. It doesn't seem right. These 5 years have gone by so quickly and they've certainly been action-packed. Every time I see a baby, I try to remember Jakob that little and I can't. I have a few memories, but not many. I just remember how I felt...so lost and convinced that I had no maternal skills whatsoever. I also remember a lot of screaming and feeling like my child didn't like me. What a long way we've come...

He's been doing so much vocalizing...I swear he speaks to me in sentences sometimes. I have no idea what he's trying to tell me but he's definitely trying to tell me something. Someday...

People who haven't seen Jakob in awhile are always impressed with how far he's come. And I've been asked what I think has made the biggest difference. I dunno. I really don't. I think it's a combination of everything...I know we first started seeing a difference when we went through the Sensory Learning Program. That's when stuff first started to come together in that little brain of his. Since then, I dunno. I know that physical thrapy has been big for him...he needs so much sensory stimulation. ABA has helped a lot...so has OT, school and speech. It's a combination of it all.

But what I believe makes the biggest difference in any child...typical or not...is what life is like for the child at home. I have done my best to make Jakob's life at home as easy for him as I can. It's cozy and warm. filled with things that Jakob loves and plenty of places for him to go to get whatever stimuli he needs. He is pretty darn happy here almost all of the time. Very rarely do we have an episode...I like that. If he's happy, he's affectionate, he's laughing and everybody's having fun. I know that if I have that kind of homelife, I can handle almost anything the world throws at me...I hope it's working for my little man. I think it is.

It's time for me to seriously start looking at Halloween costumes. Gotta find something that's comfy...last year, he was a Native American...it was cute. I'm sure I'll go through plenty of catalogs and websites...the hunt is on.

We also need one more ABA therapist...

And a guitar...