October 19, 2008...freedom

I love being Jakob's mom...coolest thing I've ever been or done. Every day, he makes me laugh and teaches me so much. And every day he reminds me that he is his own little person and has his own idea about the world and how it operates. All he wants is what we all want...freedom to be who we are. Freedom. I'm so glad I've figured that out and know what to do to allow him to be himself. Life has become so much easier...and peaceful for all of us.

I've been spending a lot of time thinking and reading and watching. Reading all my self-help books (self-help books get a bum wrap...they're great), books on spirituality, books on Indigo Children and combinations of them all. A really great author on combining all of it with Autism is William Stillman...highly recommend his stuff. I need to put all my book recommendations up...there are so many. Of course, anything by Barry Neil Kaufman should go first (Son-Rise:the Miracle Continues and Happiness is a Choice).

I'm living with such an interactive, fun-loving kid. He bosses me all over the house "go that way" and "mom up" and "Mom wake up". His big thing right now outside of the playroom is having me write the lyrics to songs over and over. Writers cramp big-time. He does love to sing and his words are getting clearer all the time. He sure does love it when I figure out what it is he's singing and I sing along. The smile is huge and the eyes just sparkle. He also still loves telling me to "go that way" and "17 jumps woah go". That's a little game where I jump 17 times and then run into the other room acting like I'm gonna fall down and say "woah" the whole time. Something about me falling down he finds hysterical. This went on for 2 hours the other night. Non-stop belly laughing is a great sound, the best there is. I can't get enough of it.

He's been a little weird about taking a shower lately. I let him go without for as long as I could so Friday night was it. We had to do it. So...I went in the bathroom and had a one-girl party. I pulled out all the tricks...singing, having his little elephant scrubby dance, pulled out all the tub toys, had airplanes and cars crashing, getting in the shower myself and playing with all the stuff. After an hour and a half, he got in. That's all it took...90 minutes :). Not sure but I think he wants to avoid the water to protect his band aids. He's got a thing for band aids...the slightest papercut requires a band aid for 2 weeks...gotta make sure it completely heals. And this is a kid that couldn't stand anything attached to his skin, now he loves it. Anyway, the next night, he marched right upsatirs and got in the shower himself. Problem resolved. And it only took 90 minutes.

We went to a new DAN! doctor, recommended by Raun Kaufman. If Raun recommends, I do. I love that guy. The doctor spend 3 hours with us and there was so much info that my head is still spinning. Long story short, vaccine injury, Jakob is toxic. We're running some lab tests and will be adding more supplements. Party on.

I have to give Jenny McCarthy a lot of credit. She's brave. Taking on the medical community and the government is not something I'd want to do. Just ain't my thing. But she believes in what she's doing and she's getting out there and doing what she can to educate and help families. I so love her messages of hope, recovery and parental empowerment. Go Jenny. I sure do get asked a lot about the vaccinations and I do believe that Jakob was affected by them. I encourage all parents to do the research, consult a DAN! doctor and follow their instincts. Same goes for parents wondering whether or not to vaccinate their kids...research and follow your gut.

When it comes to our kids being "sick", I do know one thing...the mind has amazing healing power. But the mind can't heal the body if it's frustrated, angry, annoyed, fearful or any other negative emotion. So joy is the answer. And joy is contagious...our kids can catch it from us. I'm constantly looking for things to feel good about and things to laugh at and I see Jakob doing the same. We'll find the balance between joy and medical intervention and things will continue to become more and more fun every day. It's cool being Jakob's mom....so thankful that he picked me.