November 10th, 2005

I've been fired up the past few days. It all started with the front page story in last Friday's Cincinnati Enquirer. It was about a 12-year-old boy in Miami Township with ADHD whose parents, after years of searching, have found something that has really worked for their son...a goat. The goat is the only motivator that has consistently worked to get their son to focus. Of course, there are a couple squeaky wheels in the neighborhood that have complained and now the township is telling this family that they have to get rid of the goat or move. What a sad situation. They can't afford to move and they can't afford, for their son's well-being, to get rid of the goat. Well, I wrote a letter to the edior and they printed it. Here's the link to the letter and I'll attach the original draft that I sent to the Enquirer (the paper edited my original...which is typical but I'm fine with their edited version...I think my point was made).

http://news.enquirer.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20051109/EDIT0202/511090316/1022/EDIT

I just fail to see why people have such a hard time doing the right thing. Everywhere I turn, it seems there's someone not doing the right thing. Why is it so hard? Do they just not see it? Are their neighbors so self-involved that they can't see how the goat is helping this child? What could be more important than a child's well-being? Have they lost all perspective? Or are they just ignorant to the challenges that a child with ADHD faces? If that's the case, they should do the right thing and educate themselves. Have they ever even interacted with this family? Do they know the child? If not, why not give that a shot before they start complaining about zoning ordinances? I'm aggravated. I have a feeling everything with this boy will turn out fine but I'm still steamed that this family had to go through all this. Everything happens for a reason though...hopefully, the front-page exposure has raised awareness...

One thing's for sure...the front-page exposure has me upset with more than some of the people in Miami Township (I have to say some since the family does have some supporters). I'm upset with every person on the planet that doesn't at least try to do the right thing. For instance, I'm agitated with how extraordinarily expensive it is to provide a special needs child with the services he or she so desperately needs. Jakob is 4...he has never spoken a word...he's not qualified for speech therapy??? Our insurance company only provides speech therapy for a child over 3 if he or she has lost their ability to talk due to an accident. Are you kidding me??? How much do I pay for insurance??? I have the top-of-the-line policy...apparently top-of-the-line ain't all that great. My son may not be able to talk but thank God, if my husband had erectile dysfunction, they'd pay for his viagra. Something ain't right here.

I'm trying really hard to stay calm...I'm just frustrated. I don't know if it's my small-town background or what but I hate it when something so simple gets so complicated. Red tape...blah, blah, blah. Screw red tape...do the right thing.

I feel myself wanting to get involved in the politics of it all. If I had the time, the energy and the yank to get something done, I'd try. I would probably end up having a breakdown from the aggravation of dealing with a bunch of people that rarely do the right thing. I just can't surround myself with people like that. It would make me miserable and then I'd be no good to Jakob. He needs a somewhat-sane mother...

One other thing that set me off and then I'll move on. I cannot watch Supernanny. How that woman doesn't just lose her mind on those parents is beyond me. I have a lot of patience...usually. I just don't deal well will stupidity (or laziness or ignorance or people who don't do the right thing). Anywho...last week the Supernanny went into a home with 4-year-old typical twin girls and a 3-year-old boy with autism. Now listen, I will admit, I was a clueless new mom (and still am on some levels), but this woman was beyond clueless. She was mean and insensitive and stupid. She totally ignored her daughters and would constantly shoo them away. And her son?? Oh my God, the boy has autism...no sense of danger whatsoever, and she would just let him walk out of the house...into the unfenced yard which was right on a busy street. She wouldn't even watch him...she'd ask her 4-year-olds to watch him. What???? The Supernanny observed this and simply locked the door. Unreal.

Ok, I'm done. I'm ready to write about how wonderful my kid is...

Jakob is so funny that I can hardly control the laughter. I have almost peed my pants on several different occasions this past week. He's doing so many things that typical kids do and he does it with this unbelievable amount of orneriness. For instance, when I'm trying to get him to take some gooey medication that he wants no part of, he used to scream bloody murder to the point where one of us would have to hold him down and the other would shove the stuff in his mouth. Thankfully, we don't have to do that anymore. Now he sees me coming with it, he lets out a short but definitive growl then runs to the couch. Once he's slammed into the couch, he buries his face in a pillow...thinking that if he can't see me, then I can't see him. He'll move his head slowly, just enough for him to see if I'm still standing over him with the medicine. All this time...no crying (love that). Once he realizes that I'm not going away, he scoots down the couch, face still buried in the pillow. This routine can go on for a while...especially when I decide to mess with him along the way...a little tickle here and there so he giggles. He giggles a lot...love that giggle. Eventually, he takes the medicine...no big deal. His whole thought process cracks me up. Where once there was screaming and tears, there are now attempts to manipulate (or problem solve as I like to think of it).

Jakob's bedtime routine has become 100% enjoyable most of the time. Every little detail of the routine used to have to be exact...no deviation from that routine or it would get ugly. Now, in his big-boy bed, he's able to go with the flow a lot easier. Lately, it hasn't been taking him long to fall asleep. He's usually sleeping before the first video is over and I'm still in the bed with him. He loves rolling around on the bed with his blankie, pillows and comforter. He used to hate having any kind of blanket on top of him. Now he can't get enough of it. He actually fell asleep tonight with his head under the comforter (and me under there with him). I didn't want to be that mom that had to lay in bed with her kid for hours before he'd fall asleep...but I can see how moms can get trapped in that situation. Kids are so darn cute when they're sleepy like that. Jakob lays there with his head on the pillow and looks at me with this huge grin. I'm a total sucker for that. And when he pulls me into the bed and lays me down right where he wants me to be and snuggles up with me...forget about it. Remember, this is a kid who as a baby didn't want anyone in his space. Bedtime used to break my heart...now it's the best time of my day. If he keeps growing at his current rate...we're gonna have to get a bigger bed...and a few more pillows.

School and all of his therapies are going great. He's doing so well and I'm so proud. I think it's time to add more hours to his weekly schedule. The experts say that a child with autism should have 40 hours per week of therapy. I feel like he does so much but we're only at 23 hours. I think he's ready to handle more. I have to find someone that does music therapy in the home...speech therapy would be great too. I really believe that Jakob will sing before he talks. He tries so hard to sing...he imitates sounds from his Baby Einstein videos and makes noises along with the Sesame Street videos. He does the most singing when I'm not in the room. It's as if he can only concentrate on one thing at a time. If I'm in the room with him, we're dancing or stomping our feet or clapping...but no singing. As soon as I leave, he sings up a storm. So I do my best to keep balance...I dance and clap for a while and then I give him his space so he can do some singing. It works out pretty well, it gives me a little time to get some things done around the house.

The house...I don't wanna talk about it.

I’m looking forward to decorating for Christmas. I have a few small evergreen trees with white lights on them that I leave up year-round. I hardly ever put the lights on...until recently. Jakob has developed quite an interest in the lights. Last year, he couldn’t have cared less. I'm gonna put up a huge tree with lots of lights and I can't wait. I just have to make a decision how crazy I'm gonna go with the rest of the house...last year, I had forty-some trees up...I don't think I'm gonna do that again...or maybe I will. I never know til I get started. I just have to get the tree up first...I wonder if a 12-footer will be big enough or if I should go bigger...

The most important goal I have right now for my life with Jakob is continued laughter. We had so much misery for so long...life for Jakob was hard. He wasn't a happy baby and toddler hood wasn't any better. Making him laugh has become easier and I've never heard a greater sound than his full-blown belly laugh. What's that saying...laughter heals the soul? Certainly, in our house, there's no better therapy...for me and more importantly, for Jakob.

Here’s the original letter to the editor that I sent to the Enquirer:

For the past few days, I haven't been able to stop thinking about the Miami Township family with the 12-year-old son who has ADHD. After more than 6 years of searching for that one thing, that one answer, that one vehicle, that one way that this child's parents can reach him, his mom and dad have found it.

They are so very lucky.

I can't help but believe that the neighbors and the township simply don't understand what an amazing discovery this is. There are so many parents living every day trying to find their goat with no luck. I am a parent looking for a goat. I have a four-year-old son with autism and I feel this family's pain. I have been searching for that one thing that will reach my son. We have little victories here and there, a toy or an activity that draws Jakob in for a while but nothing yet that has stuck. After endless hours of researching, observing, shopping, purchasing, setting up and showing these things to Jakob, I have not found the goat. I'd give anything for a goat.

I will continue to search for my family's goat with the daily prayer that I will find it. Every day I look at my beautiful son and see the potential in his eyes but there's something that's preventing him from allowing his potential to shine. Once I find his goat, I'll unlock that potential.

This family has been able to unlock their child's potential with the help of a goat. I pray for them that their neighbors and the township will spend more time educating themselves about developmental disabilities and stop getting caught up in zoning ordinances. I know if they had a better understanding of how awesome a goat can be, they'd welcome the goat to the neighborhood and maybe even take a turn with him on the trampoline.

jenn jordan
mason