November 17th, 2005

Phew...it was a short down cycle. Things are back to "normal" and Jakob is a cool kid again. He's still a little short every once and awhile but that's typical. It's just what sets him off changes with the weather...71 degrees one day, 38 the next. It's a good thing that I kinda know how to adjust the thermostat (I feel like I'm getting good at these analogies).

We had a conference at his school and his teacher seemed really happy about his progress. That was so encouraging to hear. He's doing so much better playing with other kids, taking turns, transitioning from one activity to another. They said he seems "calmer and happier"...I'm glad he's the same at school as he is at home.

We also had an appointment at Children's. They seemed happy with his progress too and told us to keep doing what we're doing. The doctor asked a hard question..."what 2 treatments/therapies do you think have helped him the most?" I had no idea what to say...I honestly don't know. I think each thing we've tried has helped something different. And when all the therapies are combined, we got progress. Certainly, ABA has made a big difference...but I wouldn't give up anything else and only do that. If I had to choose only one or two, I don't know what I'd do...probably end up heavily medicated.

I took Jakob to get a haircut today and he did beautifully. He sat in a racecar and watched the Best of Elmo. He didn't even get bothered by the big clumps of hair that kept falling in his mouth. I was so proud. I can't believe we left without a balloon...oops. Next time, I'll take two.

Did you know that 80% of couples who have a child with autism get divorced? It's true.

I talked to an old friend today who just found out about Jakob. He was really upset...reading this journal had quite an affect on him. I have to say that it's pretty suspicious that there are 4 of us radio people who all worked in the same building and we all ended up having sons with autism. I can remember when I was pregnant and paranoid about autism, I kept thinking that the odds had to be that my baby would be ok...there were already 2 little guys who had been diagnosed. There was no way that there would be more, right? Anyway...it was very nice to talk to him, he was very sweet. We definitely had a good laugh at how much our lives have changed in the past 10 years...

One thing I've learned in the past 10 years is I cannot surround myself with negativity. No negative thoughts, no negative people. I can't afford to have my spirits brought down about anything. I want my glass always half full. If there's a problem, I don't wanna get mad...I wanna fix it. My grandpa was kind of a grouchy guy sometimes and I can remember my dad saying to him when he'd get mad "now Dad, there's no reason to get all mad...what good is that gonna do ya? Let's just find a way to fix it." I wasn't very old at the time but I recall it like it was yesterday. It's one of the many lessons that my sense-talking father has taught me. I wish I could teach that lesson to some people I know...it would be a great lesson for them to learn. It's a lesson I try to teach Jakob every day and I think he might be catching on.

When Jakob gets mad, it can be hard not to laugh. The way he crinkles his eyebrows and stomps his feet...of course, he's getting mad at something silly. Kids and their drama. I wish the biggest problem I had today was that the bridge on my trainset wouldn't stay up...travesty. He knows when I find his behavior to be unacceptable. I have that motherly "look"...that look of disapproval. The fit usually stops when I give him that look. The look is usually held for no more than 10 seconds and then I do something to make him laugh. As long as we're in an up-cycle, we're in business. We can go days without a tear. We've been tear-free for 4 days...life is good.

Jenn