March 9th, 2005

I knew this would happen. I feel much better today. I think my funks happen when I’ve gone a couple of days without one-on-one quality time with Jakob. I desperately need that quality time. He keeps everything in perspective for me.

All it took last night was 10 minutes with a book called “Are You Ticklish?” It’s this sweet little touchy-feely open the flap book. It has pictures of animals with the question above them…”Are lions ticklish?”, then you open the flap and there’s the touch-feely part with the answer…”Yes! Lions are ticklish!” Jakob turns the pages, opens the flaps, touches the feely part then waits for me to tickle him. He laughs hysterically the entire time. I even sat across the room from him and he would go through all the motions then run over to me to be tickled. We had a ball and now I feel much better.

I think the other thing that was bothering me was his progress report from school. Even though he’s doing better, I had hoped for more. We’re getting there though and I have to remember how far he’s come. Sometimes that gets hard to do.

I’m getting so close to having the house set up for him just the way I want it. I’m so anxious for all the planning, shopping and working on it to be over. I want to be able to just relax and use all the stuff to help him. Once that basement is finished, I just know it will be huge for him. I’m getting impatient. I may have to take a couple of personal days to get it finished. My mom is coming next week and she’ll be a big help. I’m looking forward to hanging out with her.

I understand and accept that those “down” days are gonna happen. I just have to know how to pull up out of them. If I can also figure out how to have fewer of them, that would be helpful too. I’ll work on that.

-Jenn