Tuesday, March 29, 2005

March 29th, 2005

I have so many options for what to write about today and I’m not sure what direction to go. My choices are…how Jakob learns, what I’ve done to the house, discipline issues and how I’m trying to solve them, our friends, why Kenny makes me crazy, why I’m crazy…and more! I swear I have enough material to write a book. I’m so in the mood to vent but I will refrain. Let’s write about Jakob…after all, he is my favorite subject.

It seems I learn something new and different about my son every day. And everything I learn about him I learn by observing. Since we don’t have any language yet, the only way to learn about him is to watch everything he does. While this process can be frustrating for some, I actually enjoy it. I love to figure out why he does the things that he does. For instance…why does he love to run from the living room to the fridge? Back and forth and back and forth, looking at the wall as he runs by it? After watching him, I figured out that he was looking at his shadow. He was racing it. Once I had that figured out, I knew how to join him in his game. Now we do “on your marks, get set, go!” Or we run one way and put a number on the fridge then do it again. If I sit and pay attention to him, I get a little more insight into his world. The more I learn about “his world”, the more I’m able to pull him into mine.

The simpler stuff like the shadow is easy. The things that aren’t so simple are exhausting (I still enjoy it but it makes me very tired). Right now, we’re dealing with a doozie that we’re having trouble resolving. For some reason, he doesn’t want Kenny and me in the same room together. The family room is the space where it’s the worst. If we’re both in there, he cries and tries to pull Kenny out of the room and into the kitchen. This will continue until Kenny leaves, I leave the premises or until Jakob has such a fit that he wears himself out and he falls asleep. It’s not fun. This behavior is pretty consistent with Kenny and me but he’ll also do it to other people…my mom, our friends. We’ve tried several different approaches; nothing has worked.

It would be helpful if we could figure out why he does it. I have a few ideas…maybe he’s so used to having only one of us home with him at a time that he doesn’t want to share our attention. Maybe the room is too loud with more than just one of us in there and he gets over-stimulated. Since he always wants me in the room, maybe he doesn’t want to share me. Or maybe…something has happened in that room when Kenny and I were in there together that upset him. I’m so afraid that’s it. I don’t know what the “event” could have been, but if I had to guess, Kenny and I had an argument. Jakob senses tension and he doesn’t like it. He acts out. I can’t blame him, I don’t like tension either.

We’ll just keep watching and trying…that’s all we can do.

Our home life is about to become more complicated. Poor Miller. He tore a ligament in his knee and is having surgery today. I pick him up tomorrow and he has to be confined for 6 weeks…yeah, right. That dog is under my feet every second of the day and if he can’t see me, he cries. How the heck am I gonna lock him up? Poor guy. He doesn’t understand why we’re confining him, he’s gonna think he’s being punished. He’ll need some extra attention. I guess I’ll be getting less sleep for the next 6 weeks.

-Jenn

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