April 5th, 2005

I’m so relieved that the weather is getting better. I can’t believe how badly we were all suffering from cabin fever. All three of us have been a little crabby and defensive. The simple act of going outside has made us nicer. Jakob loves to go for a walk and play in the back yard. I can’t get him out of the trampoline and I just love all the giggling. He jumps, runs, tackles me and rolls around. It’s hard to believe that it was only a few weeks ago that he wouldn’t even stand up in the tramp. In some areas Jakob progresses quickly. In other areas, not so much.

Here’s the thing I want so desperately for people who know Jakob to understand…Jakob is FINE, he’s HAPPY, he’s HEALTHY and he’s an AMAZING LITTLE PERSON JUST THE WAY HE IS. Yes, he’s different in some ways but he’s more like the rest of us than most people realize. His differences aren’t so astronomical that they can’t be overcome with patience. Jakob learns differently than the rest of us. The thing to remember is that it may take a little longer, I may have to work a little harder, I may have to be a little more patient and creative and I have to laugh with him. If I remember all that, he’ll figure it out. It’s not so tough. In fact, it’s a lot of fun. There’s nothing better than seeing him try something new.

Things at home are tough. Kenny and I have differing opinions on how to teach Jakob. I’m sure that we’re no different than any other mom and dad when it comes to this. Discipline would fall in this category as well. I don’t really have the energy to fight about it even though I feel like I should. I’m gonna do what a lot of moms do…let him figure it out on his own. Hopefully, it won’t take long and he can see for himself all the amazing things that Jakob is capable of.

I’m just trying so hard to keep it all together. Between Jakob, Kenny, work, Miller, my friends, the house, the cat and all the day-to-day stuff, I’m really struggling right now. Just when I think I have it all under control, something stupid happens like me hitting the “off” button on my alarm instead of “snooze”. Stupid. Maybe that’s another one of those “signs”…it’s a sign that there’s no “snoozing”.

-Jenn